gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Even my vagina gasped.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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