it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
