what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
