No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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