So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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