i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
