Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize