yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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