I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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