I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
being pregnant is like rehab
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
