If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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