Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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