She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
