Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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