I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
