Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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