i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
