I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
