i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
