remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize