I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
