Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
