So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
