I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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