Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize