D3 body, D1 cock
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize