he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
