Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
