Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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