oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
im holly from the hills drunk
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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