I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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