the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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