I'm lost and stupid without you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize