So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
