We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
