why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
