Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
