If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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