Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So apparently I’m into choking now
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