So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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