Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
