I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
