i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
