He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
