Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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