Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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