I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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