yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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