He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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