yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
