You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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