so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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