I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
