first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
