Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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