Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
