i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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