Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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