he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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