i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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