I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
