I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
