What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
