Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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